Totnes Pothole Trail

Devon County Circus brings you the Totnes Tour of Total Failure.
Be amazed at interminable incompetence and inefficiency.
Be stunned at the utter uselessness of these clowns, time and Again

Clowns at 'work'

Background

Last year a huge crater over 2m in diameter was left by Devon County Clowns until they 'fixed it'... With one bag of tarmac in the bottom! It took another two weeks before it was fixed. But it should never have been left to develop in the first place. Their website said and still says 'Please don't report potholes that have already been reported.'

So in the following 15 months have the clowns got their act together?

Come with us to find out.

THE PLAINS

We'll start at The Plains. A main traffic route popular with people sitting outside the many cafes.

Did you know 1988 was Year of the Pedestrian? Neither did we but there's a plaque to commemorate it right in the middle. Obviously red rag to the idiots in sheep clothing from Circus Central.

What is that logo at the top? Somebody diving into a pothole?

Tripping up and falling flat on their face!

You can't make it up!

Let's look at the Elephant. Here we see four footmarks which were patched two years ago. Right on the second busiest crossing in Totnes. (Busiest no-brainer comes later)

Elephants footsteps

There's nothing so permanent as a temporary repair.

Of course these repairs are done at enormous expense by incredible skilled craftsmen.

Of course Devon County Circus doesn't only serve pedestrians. Somewhere called the Plains must have a Grand Canyon which serves the double purpose of tripping crossing pedestrians and gripping cyclists in a 'tramline'. Well done for adding interest to National Cycle Route 28.

We can't leave this exhibition of magnificent incompetence without mentioning drains, lights and signs. Of course the clowns haven't missed a trick.

Drains Pavement on east side gets flooded. DCC refuse to take action. They say they won't even investigate unless water is still puddling 24 hours after the rain has stopped. Hey Chief Executive
Helpful picture of Chief Executive
The purpose of drains is to get water away when its raining. They have one job. That's it! Drain rainwater. What next? Please give the fire brigade five working day's notice? (See how much they care on their report blocked drains page)
Lights We may not be Blackpool but the clowns try to liven up the Plains at night with a badly botched beacon. Click below to play the video.

I bet someone has a lovely rockery with the original proper stones.
It only works when the ground is damp for some reason. Probably because the cable is one inch below the slabs. The original light repairers took pneumatic drills to the York Stone and (eventually) replaced temporary tarmac with what you see in the video.
Signs Want a pee? How lucky you are to see a signpost with just the information you need.
alt="Signpost pointing to WC 600 yards away at Steamer Quay.""
The geniuses who put this up somehow just happened to omit the WC 110 yards away by the bus stop. (Through traffic.) Instead there's 600 yards AND no continuity of signage. Awesome!

BEAUTIFUL BRIDGETOWN

From the roundabout at the Plains strike out over the lovely river Dart. Hey! But watch out for those bumps!

Notice the fine attention to detail of trimming only one corner. Artistic eh?

You guessed it. There are no humps for 220 yards.

Where are the Pothole Pixies when you need them?

Now look in the road to see the Magic Manhole. 'Magic' because the Circus has employed consultants who are sure pothole pixies or fairies or possibly sprites will magically repair it. Sometime.

Helpful picture of consultants

In the westbound carriageway is Angie's Dream a classic example of 'close eyes and perhaps it will go away'.

Sponsored by the Ladies Underwater Flower Arranging Team

It looks innocuous enough. But it will only get to the stage of trapping cyclists. Who knew that smaller holes are cheaper to fix than larger ones. There's even an old saying A stone in time saves nine. I wonder if the gormwackets in Exeter have ever heard of it? The same number of holes need fixing whenever you do it but it's cheaper to catch them early.

On the far side of the river, have you seen any humps yet? Why yes! They're in Seymour Road. Where are the hump warning signs you ask. You're new to Devon aren't you? Just to add the final hilarious custard pie, the clowns do have a sign at the exit warning of the non-existent humps

Note again the artistic sign trimming. Somebody takes their job very seriously.

Further along Seymour Road, continuing up Pathfields we come to the school. There's a serious sinkhole developing outside. The picture doesn't do it justice. It could tip somebody off their mobility scooter.

It won't get better!

Weston Lane

Another sort of sinkhole. For wasted money.

A few yards further and we come to Weston Lane. What's this? Runes? Astrological symbols? No! Clown codes. Somebody important must be selling their house along this road. The pavements have already been resurfaced and now the road too. Who says Devon County Circus doesn't take road repairs seriously.

The right time to repair... But contrast with neglect elsewhere.

Thank goodness our years of misery are over.

Somebody could have died! This is typical clown behaviour: Ignore the obvious and waste time on cosmetic fripperies instead.

At this very place, where road improvement is happening they can paint and patch but they can't see that there should be a dropped kerb at the bottom of The Chicken Run.

Not a speck of paint or slightest intention of doing something useful.

SMALL AND SIMPLE

Let's go back over the bridge and turn right. In 100 yards is a pedestrian crossing which is probably the most heavily used in Totnes.

Can you see from the picture the small and simple issue? Above the puddle is a patch less than two months old. When that was done the people with small and simple brains didn't notice that six inches away was a hump of tarmac which stopped the crossing draining properly. Who knew that water doesn't flow uphill? Whoever signed off this needs to be sacked for creating a winter icetrap. Small and simple brains? More like tiny and toxic.

MORRISONS

Here is the famous Morrisons pothole after a temporary repair.

May 2024.

TRAGIC ROUNDABOUT

Continue northwards and gaze at this mess. You might notice lots of patches but also lots of unpatched cycle-traps. It's bloody scary on a bike. I bet the bacteria-brains are pleased with doing the absolute minimum. Well people with the intelligence of five year-olds aren't. The patches are slick in the wet. Brilliant! Have an award for getting rid of cyclists. This level of incompetence goes far beyond sacking. Whoever is responsible needs to be prosecuted for Health and Safety breaches at the least.

The eastbound approach shows just the usual casual neglect. (Remember how Weston Lane gets loved?)

But hey? What's this. Back to deliberate obstruction.

Tarmac the path but two fingers to wheeled people.

FINAL LEG INTO TOWN

Carry along the main road Northwards to the station. Cross opposite the station to head along Castle Street towards the castle. You can't miss it. It was built to last. 900 years before so-called engineers from Devon County Circus were about.

CASTLE CRATERS

Firstly we see the wonder of paint to mark defects. See how faded that marking is.

This is the clown's number one weapon in their effort to 'show they're doing something'. 'Painted the road Guv. Job completed.' That's fraud.

Slightly further on we come to Castle Craters

Don't want to hit those at speed!

The picture doesn't show the steep slope. But you can see the gravel which is yet another trap for cyclists who need to brake on the corner.

THE NARROWS

Continue up the hill. Browse the bijou community bookshop. Turn right at the top through the scenic Narrows full of curiosity shops. At South Street you will see a wall-to-wall gouge that probably has listed building status because it's been there for so long.

Clearly whoever is supposed to inspect the roads is completely incompetent or WFB (Working From Beach) and making up their reports.

Helpful image of what a highway inspector might look like

Carry on along the narrows. A nice pint beckons. Oh look! Years of neglect because who cares about fire hydrants anyway.

Must paint it but 'Wot standards'?

At last, carrying on upwards we get to the Bay Horse. Before you can sink a well deserved pint gaze at the sinkhole just outside.

Perhaps over the years to come people will say it adds to the quirkiness of Totnes.

It's a bugger of a bump if you cycle across it.

END OF THE TRAIL

As you've seen Devon County Circus [PIC Helpful picture of Chief executive chiefClown] are useless, dangerous, utterly incapable of doing simple jobs without making them worse.

Here's a quiz you can answer in 20 seconds but I bet the Exeter headquarters of the Impossibly Incompetent won't be able to.

Do potholes ever heal up of their own accord?
Does painting a ring round them attract pothole pixies to do the job?
Is a large hole quicker and cheaper to fix than a small one?
Have DCC learned lessons and changed their ways after the Morrisons Crater?
Is it legal for DCC to say they don't have to repair blocked drains because 'excuses'?

Answers:

This is not a complete report of the cockups by the crayon-munching clowns in Totnes. There are many more pockmarked streets, cycle traps and neglected pavements. The real problem is the top to bottom indifference at DCC. Fix that!

A helpful picture of clowns at work

Information
Contact: Peter Fox pots@totnes.town
Please do not report more examples of neglect to me.
Please do report more examples of neglect to DCC using this link (Obviously ignore the don't report an already reported pothole bit.)
If you feel ignored by DCC then your local councillor is Jacqi Hodgson. She's just as frustrated as the rest of us, so please save your scorn for the Chief Executive of DCC, Donna Manson.